The Mystery Diary!
by Cho ChangRULES
Summary: In this fic you have to figure out, who the person is who is writing the diary..If you think you know who tell me in your reveiws! She gets stuck with this SUPER weird grandma who keeps on rocking up, everywhere and I mean EVERYWHERE!
1. Meet the parents

Dear Diary, Hey this is me.. Just me.normal me. But of coarse I am so normal that the rest of my family is so utterly.. UNNORMAL! Let's start with my mum.A witch.. Well I am to but.. That doesn't matter. She of coarse married my perfectly normal dad and forgot the little tiny detail that she was a WITCH!!I mean really. Then there is grandma..Now if she isn't a perfect example of a mental case I don't know what is!! She sits in her seat rocking back and forth and then in a sudden moment she will go all rigid and grab the nearest thing next to her (normally Noodles the cat) and say in this really freaky voice "Their coming..Their coming.THEIR COMING RUN FOR YOUR LIVES!" Mum says that we should feel sorry for her after all it isn't her fault that we accidentally lost grandpa while travelling by floo powder.. Well I consider him lucky! Gran is also a witch! Then there is noodles, that stupid cat HATES me. Every time a walk into a room it chases me! So as I am sure that you can see, Diary that my family is a complete an utter basket case! P.S: Got my letter if acceptance at Hogwarts today! I'm so happy..Gran baked her cookies, for the occasion.. Oh lord, please let me not have died from lack of teeth after this meal, thank you!  
  
  
  
September! Day before school starts! 9:00am  
  
Dear Diary, I'm sorry that I haven't written in such a long time, I have been so busy buying stuff for school! Oh it's soooo exiting.. And I thought that I was normal.. oh wait..Dear lord by the end of my Hogwarts career please let me be not like Gran or mum! It's my first year I am soooo excited!  
  
September. First day at Hogwarts! 5:00am  
  
DD, This place is amazing, I met this really nice girl on the train called..Well I'd rather not say her name cause A)She would kill me if she knew I was writing bout her and b)If anyone read this well I'd be dead! Well got to go! 


	2. Potter the rotter

Authors Note:The reason why the dates are 1995 and not 2002 is because that is when they where in 5th year.You can do the math for yourself.  
  
August 31 1995 Dear Diary, I found you! At last, in the bottom of my trunk, under all my teen-witch magazines!! I am just about to go into 5th year (tomorrow!). And guess what... I am a prefect!! Along with Hermione Granger (Surprise surprise!)..And Harry Pooper..(oh lucky me)..I don't think that I told you about how much I hate that jerk, but I have hated him since first year and even more after the Yule ball! Mr. Oh look I can defeat Voldemolt with a swish and a flick of my wand.. Oh watch me catch the snitch in quiddich.. Yabber yabber yabber!! Do you remember that nice that I met on the train, well we where friend up till the end of last year, she is so horrible I don't know what I saw in her! Talking about people I dislike, what's up with that jerk Draco! He reminds me of a constipated weasel!  
  
September 2nd 1995 8:00 pm  
  
D D, First day was great! Gryffindor common room.. Oh how I have missed you! Don't get be wrong it's not that I don't ENJOY living with my mentally unstable family it just well.I love it here, and even more now that I'm a prefect! The only down side to this whole thing is that I have to actually speak to Harry! Hermione and all the rest aren't that bad! Although I did mange to blow up potters cauldron in potions today! It's so much fun to scream at people "Mind out I am a prefect!"..Oh the glory!  
  
September 5th 1995 9:00 PM  
  
DD I CAN'T BELIEVE THIS.. My flaming life is over.Over.OVER! My darling gran is going out with FILCH! I mean I know that she is a basket case but FILCH! They met at the end of last year. At the magical minagery they where buying cat food, for their spiteful cats. I only found out today that they where seeing each other.. OH THE HORROR!! Filch came up to me with a rose and asked me to give it to gran with his love! I did send it to her via owl along with a letter to my gran asking her, what the heck she was playing at! And just to make matters WORSE yes you heard me WORSE!!I was walking infrount of Harry when filch gave me the rose. Well bye for now I am going to go and drown myself in sorrow! 


	3. Gran comes to visit!

15 September 1995 11:05 PM Thursday  
  
DD, I had an intelligent conversation with Hermione, well not that she isn't intelligent it's just that I always sound like bob the plumber! Any ways we spoke about prefects because we are both prefects. Pavatti of coarse got jealous cause she isn't one and kept flouncing in and out of our conversation! She can sometimes be so STUPID! Well any way we where talking about maybe us prefects organising a "field trip" to a castle or something.  
  
September 1995 19th Monday  
  
DD. You won't believe, Dumbeldore agreed to our plan about the castle. We had Prefects meeting and it was a big hit! Since it is a couple of months away from Valentines we decided that we should do it then for our year and the year above us and have almost the same thing as a Yule ball but better and a kind of learning experience. The castle that we thought of had this witch who did love potions there, it is perfect because the 6th years are studying the castle this year! Managed to set fire to Potters owls tail feathers.. Oh what an ace day!  
  
  
  
21 September 1995 Saturday  
  
Dear diary, Sorry that I haven't written in such along time, even though the valentines social is awhile away it needs a lot of work, I can't even complain that potter hasn't been any good cause he has helped the most.. Hark what is this I hear.Potter being perfect again? Oh yes guess who rocked up today.. GRAN to see FILCH!! She has come to visit, don't ask me how but she has. I, the lucky soul had the pleasure of meeting her while I was walking down the corridor with all my friends in the grade. I heard my name being shrieked down the corridor, I turned around to see her there in all of her glory! But it wasn't only I turned around but all the girls aswell! To make matter worse (NOTE: please record how many times I have said worse in this diary for I am sure it is more than 100!)..To make matters worse she was going though her hippie stage so she had her hair in two long braids with flowers hanging out AND a multi- coloured luminous green robe on! I mumbled to my friends that I would see them later. "provided, she hasn't managed to curse something or blow anything up" I thought to myself. I ran toward her praying "Hi gran what are you doing here" I hissed in her ear, she replied "Oh filchie" wait a minute here can I just freeze things for a second.. Did my gran just call him FILLCHIE, next thing you know he will be calling her Rosie-Posie or something even more disgusting! Ok we can unfreeze back to the story of Stupido and Stupidette. "Filchie and I are going to the Three Broomsticks" She said happily all this time I am trying not to gag. "Gran..Gran where is noodles(If she bought him along something is bound to get cursed)" "Oh don't you worry he is having a great time with Mrs.Norris" She said smiling " Gran are sure that that is a good idea, do you remember what happened last time, when we found that cat that noodles was "getting along with' tied to a tree" I said "Oh no dearie this is true love" she said. Just as she had said that filch appeared(you know that way he has of just appearing BAM like that)"Time to go Rosie-Posie" That's it I am going to jump off something very high very fast! As if my flaming life can get any worse(101). Then he took her hand! Gran gave me hug and whispered in my ear "I'll come and visit you in your common room." NNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOo way was I gonna let that happen "NO No gran don't bother I'm going out tonight." I said quickly believe me I felt no pain when I said it!  
  
6:05 Saturday same date.  
  
DD, Going to 3 Broomsticks in case, she does come and see me..I hope to dear god that they have left. Well bye,Hermione is calling me to go with them to 3 brooms.  
  
  
  
7:30 sat same date DD, I noticed Hermione go all tense when Ron walked into Three Brooms, but not a scared tense but I HAVE A CRUSH ON YOU COME HERE AND SIT WITH ME! Tense.  
  
8:00 sat DD Dean and Shemas came! Shemas sat next to ME ME ME ME ME!I was at the end of the sofa thingie but he could have sat next to Hermione. SIGH sigh sigh! The barwitch decided to have one of those switch evenings when you sit in twos, boy and girl at everytable and you three minuets to talk! Then you move to the next table where another guy will be.  
  
8:35 DD, I sat with Dean My brain is currently smothered in mush. Tell you later/ 


	4. Seamus and I

Dear Diary, My brain was so full of mush that I said that I sat with Dean. Instead of Seamus.. Oh SEAMUS is so smart and funny.. We had three minutes together, which soon turned to six because Ron swapped with him to sit longer with Hermione! We spoke about the Valentines trip\dance.He asked me if I wanted to be his partner! My poor brain, I just opened and closed my mouth like one of those muggle fish, it is called a Goldfish, I learned about it in Mugglestudies! But I did infact come out with yes! Then after the whole three minutes thing he came up to me and asked if I wanted to go to three Broomsticks with him today for lunch (He coarse would have said tomorrow, but since we are going today I thought that.. Well you get my drift).Mush mush mush ohhh my brain is filled with mush.and maybe a couple of cobwebs! .Oh by the way it's Sunday 11:30 1995..OH MY GOSH I've got to be there in let's see..30 minuets!  
  
4:05 Sun..something DD One word-MUSH!  
  
Mon 1:00 PM Dear Diary, Well let me know try to talk some sense (yesterday I was like a babbling brook, poor Hermione, thought that I got hexed!). Ok, first of all we sat down and got talking (mostly I just nodded and did basic stuff like that, cause as you would have guessed the mush was taking over!). Then he walked me back to the tower and he took my hand.. It was a beautiful day the sky was blue.Oh sigh I'm starting to sound like one of those Happy happy ANNOYING people that one finds in fairytale books!  
  
Monday 4:05 pm  
  
Dead Diary,  
  
My life cannot get any better.. I think that our little Potter la Rotter is jealous.yes jealous. Ok listen, in divination ?(We put in places today) he said " Are you and Seamus going out?" I said "yes, but what does it matter to you," and he mumbled something like "Nothing". Ha jealousy in a bottle!  
  
6:00 pm Monday Dear Diary,  
  
ATTACK OF THE GRAN! AHHHHHHH. Seamus and I where taking a walk around the lake, when our lady in question and Filchie appeared (they are starting to scare me with this appear and disappear stuff!). She called out to me "Dear Dear ROSEBUD" I turned around fearing the worst, just my darn Potter luck.. She had to turn up just when where holding hands! "Hi Gran" I said "Better go I am writing a test," blew her a kiss and ran helter-skelter up the hill! Seamus following, we'll actually I was dragging him. When we got over the hill I explained about the dreaded GRAN. He laughed! 


	5. The making and the BREAKING!

Disclaimer: So um ya I forgot to put the disclaimer in the last few chapters, so um, none of these people belong to me but too JK. So all you people wanting to pick on me.. PICK ON SOMEONE UR OWN SIZE!!!  
  
  
  
Wednesday 1:05 PM Dear d, DEPRESSION!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Seamus broke up with me. There was some stupid rumour that I was two timing him.I ask you, 50% of my day was with him, and the 50% was in class.. I ask you!!  
  
2:06 PM Wednesday  
  
DD, I know who started it.. Potter the Rotter.. Who else.. HAHA foiled, by detective moi! So plan A: Going to be SUPER nice to him, see if he makes any moves on me, if he does then it means he started it! Do you get it diary, it is pretty simple! Plan B: Well there is none.. Who wants to know anyways? Oh yeah ME.  
  
6:05pm Wednesday  
  
Dear D, It worked!! He tried to hold my hand under the table in Arithmancy, that's when I pounced, I asked if it had been him who had spread the rumour and he said he had.. So that proves it! When the lesson ended I told him a thing or two about what I thought.. He tried to say something, but I walked off.. Or was it stormed? I wonder what he wanted to tell me?  
  
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Thursday 6:07pm Oct..1995  
  
DD, Went to the castle today. I know that it is a bit early to start, but we ain't gonna have much time cause the Halloween feast is just around the corner, and no sooner is that over then we have to go home for the x-mas hols. We got there by Flu powder .It was quite a mission, all the houses went, well just our grade, but it was still a mission, but we got there! It is a really interesting place full of twists and turns. We got split up into groups to help put up the Decorations. Dean and I where put into a pair. Oh yeah along with Hannah A, not a bad person, but her IQ must be the same as Ron's old rat Scabbers! I'm serious! But we got rid of her told her to go to Susan Bones. So she waddled off. I know it was mean, but we really didn't feel like all her millions of questions! Dean and I got talking as we did the streamers and stuff. He said the he was sorry about Seamus and I breaking up. Then he said " Harry didn't spread the rumour I did" well I can tell you I just about fell off the banister at this bit of information. He caught me.. Thankfully. When I had recovered I looked at him long and hard.. My mouth opening and closing like a goldfish. I ran for it straight to potter, dragged him aside, and said I was sorry, and ran off again. What puzzles me is why did Harry say that he started the rumour, if he didn't?? Should have asked Dean, but my mind was too busy. Oh but I must tell you about my moment of GLORY! When we where just about to leave, Seamus came up to me, I turned around casually "yes" whilst doing this, checking nails to give the full effect of casualty. "What did Dean say to you?" so I said " Never trust your best-Friends" (Referring to the fact that Dean had spread the rumour, and in fact to my self for one of my best-friends betrayed me once) "And never EVER listen to rumours" (fair, don't listen to them their stupid, but listen to this next thing,) "Oh and Seamus LEAVE ME ALONE!" and I walked away. Oh the GLORY!! Oh the POWER!! HAHAHAHAha! Oh but I haven't even said the best bit yet! He said to me "Wheat do you mean about the whole, don't trust your friends thing?" Do you know what I did? I turned round, flicked my hair, gave him by best smile and said..." Listen and you might just learn something." Let's see if he figures out that riddle! Do you get Diary? Well what it means is, he must listen to ME and he might learn a little thing or two!! Oh the POWER!! Better go, Hermione just asked me to go down to the Great Hall with her, to get some supper.  
  
Bye Signed, ME  
  
A\N: Ok, I just wanna let you all know, that the reason why there is abbreviations, in this fic, is because, this is diary HELLO! So don't go on at me for my spelling this time! So There!! Ha. 


	6. Mental Gran

29th Oct 1995  
  
  
  
Dear Diary, THIS Is IT IT IT IT! The word is out my mental gran was caught in Filches offices and they where kissing.. Not the little peck peck.. The full-fledged face eating! My life is over over, OVER I tell you!  
  
  
  
Oct 30th Fri 5:00pm  
  
Dear diary, Going with Ron, Hermione, Dean. Seamus and Harry plus a few others to the Three Broomsticks, see if we can come up with a more idea's for the dance, so far we have only set up half of it! Bye then! Love, Me  
  
Oct 31st Sat 1:00pm  
  
DD Halloween Feast tonight. Well at least something good came out of last night! I found out that in two weeks there is going to be a Fun-quiddich match. All you have to do is put your name up for what ever position you would like to play.. And what do ya know you're in the Gryfindorr team! Playing against all the other houses.. Time to hit Rotter with a bludger! Dear Lord, Please do NOT let Neville put his name down! We need some dignity! Love Me  
  
  
  
15th November Fri DD Soz that I haven't written in such a long time! It's time for Potter and Seames to kiss their * Viewer discretion is advised * good bye! Even though they're on my side! I'm Beater! Oh V-I-C V-I-C V-I-C-T-O-R-Y victory victory is my cry VICTORY! Bye Bye then! 


	7. Quddich,damsel's and mumsies

Disclaimer: None of the characters belong to me. Nah duh.  
  
30th November 1995 Wednesday. In think  
  
DD, I didn't whack either of them (unfortunately). But I did succeed in getting hit by my own bludger! I couldn't help it! I mean I know I missed hitting it, but it shouldn't come chasing after me! Anyway, that isn't the half of it, I fell off my broom (No surprises there). Well as I was falling Harry, Dean AND Seamus dived to catch me! Oh I feel like one of those people on those muggle movie shows that dad watches! You know the damsel in distress! Anyway, in the end they all missed me and flew into each other. . the idiots.  
  
  
  
16th December 1995 15:30 Fri  
  
DD,  
  
Darling mumsy just owled, she said that I must stay at school for Christmas.. Oh joys! She says it's due to unusual circumstances.. (TRANSLATED: Dad found out about her being a witch.. TRANSLATED further: The next time I get to go back home, next Christmas) OH WHY ME! 


	8. Green Face

17th Dec 1995 Saturday What's the difference? DD, I put on face mask last night (It's a kinda muggle thing that's green and moisturises your face. Mum sent it by owl for me; I think she is feeling a little bad at me not coming home for the Christmas break!) My face is now green. I have tried scrubbing (which of course meant running down to the bath room, covering my face with my hands, which meant running into walls which I had never seen before, which meant strange looks from people) Oh YAY! Signed, Me Sob sob.. 17th Dec DD, Parvati just came in and saw my face; she just about screamed the ruddy tower down! Which (natch!) caused everyone to come running, including Dean and Seamus (not that I care or anything, of course). Seamus did offer me his nail scrubber, which I naturally rejected, saying "You as-nnoying freak! I don't want your nail scrubber!" I think, Diary, that you know what I meant when I said as-nnoying freak. Luckily, McGonagall helped me with a spell. And with 5 house marks. Then Hermione came in and gave me such a LOOK! I thought that she was friend! It's not my fault that these muggle thingies don't work, is it? Hmph. Yours in extreme humiliation, Me 25th Dec Merry Christmas! I am surprised that it is after I put some hair gel on and walked under a candle. Needless to say, my hair caught alight. I hope this isn't going to become a habit. Dumbledore put it out with a spell and now my hair is quite normal again. Malfoy (the git!) laughed at me. So I slapped him (Very ladylike!). Me A/N: Another chapter! All thanks and praise go to my wonderful beta reader, HermioneFan. She asks me to tell you to review her fic "Top Secret". AAN: As you can se that previous AN was not wriiten by me but by the evil Hermfan! 


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